i need an iv and a liver transplant
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
