Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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