i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
