Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
