One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
did i just pee glitter
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
