I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
