I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
