The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
