you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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