Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize