i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize