Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
