someone get that fucking seahorse.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
