The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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