could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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