I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
