Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
