He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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