We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
