Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
