He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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