If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize