I only kidnapped one of them. chill
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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