laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He kissed a someone with a penis
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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