When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize