I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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