I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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