no, he came in my armpit
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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