You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
