I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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