Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
