The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
