I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
