I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
