Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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