So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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