She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
