Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
