Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
