We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
