This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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