I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
