This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
