Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
