i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
