can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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