you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
