You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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