i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
