I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
