That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
