the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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