every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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