You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
