he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize