He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just cropdusted the office
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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