He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Found your dick twin last night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
