i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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