did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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