he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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