the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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