It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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