Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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