I think i peed on brittanys purse
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize