True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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