i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
