WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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