So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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