No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
