And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
